So far, actually most likely, this is the only song on the album that got a music video. The music video was my way of showing the traveller’s aspect to love and this song. How it’s always a journey, how sometimes you do get close and feel real, but sometimes that’s not enough, and sometimes it’s too much. “Amor y Dolor”, also the title of this album, was an expression of the push and backwards pull of being in love and wanting love.
This song is about being strong enough and loving enough to know when to walk away. Being in love doesn’t mean controlling someone else, it means unconditionally supporting each other and only pursuing the best for each other, and sometimes that means walking away.
This song is the not-as-pop version of Superficial. Commercial Success is different in that it is not as subversive. This song in particular was from a more painful perspective of coming up in the pop universe. It was my honest understanding of what needed to be said about pop music, it’s about like, the pain that one goes through, the pain that’s inflicted upon the artist.
Now & Always is my confession of love to every form of love that I have in my life. Whether that be the love I learned to have for who I am, or the love I have for the relationships I’m in, or the love I have for an idea, a movement, or a generation. In the bridge, I take a moment to speak, “All the secrets, all the lies, all the truths have come to my eyes”, and that describes my understanding of love, through learning all the faces of something, you learn to love it unconditionally.
Awhile ago, my older brother said something that really struck me. People can take whatever they want from you, all your clothes, all your food, all your technology and belongings, you could literally be robbed of everything you own on this planet, but the one thing they can’t take from you is your body. The one thing people can’t take from you is your soul. I felt like I was giving my body away to too many people, I felt like I was giving my soul away to too many people. In learning to love myself, I wrote this song.
XIX-92 (or 1992) is the year in which I was born. I love in this song because I wrote it as a call to arms. Everybody I’ve encountered who’s older than me always has something to say the millennial generation. We’re always described as idiots, and as people who are destined to ruin the world, and honestly, that’s not true. Excuse me, there is a lot of revolution that has already come and will continue to come from our generation of the world, and that’s what this song is about. I love our generation, and this song is me expressing that love.
When it came to putting this song together, I felt like it was important to talk about the way that depression works, and the ways that it affects the relationship you have with yourself and with other people. For a long time, I didn’t feel like I had a connection or even the possibility of connection with people, I felt very alone. This song was my way of illustrating that and moving forward, asking if it’s possible for people to feel my ‘heartbeat’, asking myself if I can feel my ‘heartbeat’.
Superficial is about pop music. It’s a conversation that I was having with myself in wanting to pursue such a commercial sound and commercial genre. It’s my commentary on the dangers of pop and commercial art when it comes to artistry and the arts in general. It’s all about questioning to what point do you have to push yourself in order to achieve. It’s a companion to the song “Commercial Success" off the same album.
To be honest, this song was written about my addiction to drugs and alcohol. I remember not being able to ‘stay awake’ every night, just passing out, falling asleep, anywhere, everywhere. This song was my way of dealing with that behavior, my way of asking myself to sober up. It’s proving to myself that you can have fun, and do whatever you want to, just sober, and healthy.